Sleep with a child- regardless of age, it seems- is an elusive beast. I keep waiting. Waiting for it to level out. To find the magic combination of structure, security, or any other number of variables. To stop blaming myself for rough sleep nights. I have started a post about sleep before. So this is … Continue reading Sleep?

Catholic Mass is a little different than other church services. The structure of services I attended as a kid into my adulthood was the same wherever I went. We had 20 minutes of song- be it traditional hymns or updated songs that boarder on rock. Either way, it was the musical block and then an … Continue reading I forget that a little love goes a long way

I have been vacillating on what to write next. This is apparent by both my drafts folder-brimming with half hearted attempts at my next post- and my lack of publishing any of them. You see, I've been meandering through a labyrinth. Patches have been cloaked in darkness. Others have been slippery with self defeat. Areas … Continue reading North Star

Is this where I live now? This chaos in my brain? Yet again, I have started several posts and I have yet to finish one. I can't seem to untangle the threads in my mind to string together enough words to even form a cohesive thought. Maybe that's a goal I should abandon- cohesive thoughts. … Continue reading Healing is a winding road

I keep starting posts- and then stopping. Getting stuck in the chaos of my brain. The pressure to have some concise point. To be uplifting or introspective. When really, all I am is tired. And honestly, I think a little afraid of my own feelings. I began seeing my therapist about 16 months ago. And … Continue reading Reality Bites Sometimes

I recently used the really elegant and succinct sentence "vulnerability blows". I can't think of any truer words that have escaped my lips. Telling my son that I love him even when he's an asshole may be the closest second there is. I don't do vulnerability well. Actually, I think it has been a nearly … Continue reading Growth?

I feel the need to address the elephant in the proverbial room- I have been less than steady with writing. I started this blog with all of the fire in my belly and courage that I could muster. I was consistent. I was publicly working through my demons and personal insights. And then I ran … Continue reading All out of Spoons