In my last draft, safely tucked in the shadows, my brain was working overtime to connect events. That somehow the uncomfortable situations are necessary to enumerate in order to allow me the indulgence of sentimentality. It's bonkers. I'm not sure where the idea was planted that I must earn saccharine emotions about parenthood. So fuck … Continue reading A new milestone
A bi-weekly reunion
Transitions are hard. This is a statement I have made numerous times here. And in my head. It is a mantra I use to remind myself that it isn't personal to me. It is psychology. Transitions are hard. Tonight, Moose came home and immediately hugged me. I assumed this would be the kind of reunion … Continue reading A bi-weekly reunion
Thanksgiving 2021
I have endeavored to complete the continuation of the post "Unveiling the Elephant". I am getting there. Putting all of these experiences into words is an emotional undertaking. It is uncomfortable to be this transparent about the experience as a whole. To focus on documenting my experience without blocking portions that may be less flattering … Continue reading Thanksgiving 2021
Unveiling the elephant
It started when my ex and I began dating. An innate need to protect his reputation. To keep the unkind sentiments or harsh words housed in the shadows. To protect his image as much as possible. The self-imposed responsibility did not decrease with time. This made the separation tricky. When a marriage ends abruptly, there … Continue reading Unveiling the elephant
We have embarked on kindergarten
Change can be jarring for me. Even positive changes can feel destabilizing at times. I worried a bit that this was genetic. That I would pass this undesirable trait to my offspring. It seems the worry was all for naught. Which is pretty par for the course for me. Nearly three weeks ago the monster … Continue reading We have embarked on kindergarten
Coping mechanisms are not always your friend
Most love songs are codependent and problematic. Not to sound anti-romance. I'm not. I would venture that I am real-world romantic. I find romance in the every day. The surprise pastry purchased because it was thought I would enjoy it. The extra tight hug after not seeing someone you love for a while. Being someone's … Continue reading Coping mechanisms are not always your friend
Take the damn photo
At the beginning of 2021 I finally took myself to see an ENT. My days of experiencing light headedness and nausea were alarmingly frequent. Migraines were increasing in intensity and regularity. Nearly the first day I had health insurance again, I had an appointment to see the doctor. I had my ears and hearing checked … Continue reading Take the damn photo
Here I am again
I feel like I am starting over. Again. The past eighteen months have held so much change. Something I am not particularly adept at navigating. Some of the changes have been terrifying-because vulnerability-but absolutely worth it. And quite delightful once I pushed past the discomfort of leaving my shell. Other changes, such as the one … Continue reading Here I am again
Apprehension seizes the words
I adore Brene Brown. Her studies and subsequent Ted Talks and Netflix special on vulnerability have given me many moments of introspection over the years. In a moment of difficulty to sleep, I decided to turn on one of her podcasts. I must admit, I am a terrible podcast listener. I am not consistent. Not … Continue reading Apprehension seizes the words
Five is approaching…
For the past several months the same thought has been occupying my mind. Maybe the observation is prompted by my own age increase, Moose's impending birthday, or just surviving a really insane year. I sit in Moose's room as he slumbers. Our nightly routine complete when I hear his gentle breathing and watch his relaxed … Continue reading Five is approaching…
Mommyhood Mayhem and Me 