Navigating co-parenting life does not necessarily get easier with the passage of time. But it gets...more formulaic, in a way. Most things are less of an emotional livewire, like in the early days. Every visitation, every holiday... hell every conversation left me feeling hurt, defeated. Empty. That isn't the case any longer. Most visitations trade-offs … Continue reading Thanksgiving number five
Change is gradual
I have a million thoughts swirling in this brain of mine. Like a word on the tip of your tongue, the thoughts all seem to be connected, but I cannot suss it out, just yet. I wanted a clear, captivating sentence to start it out. A precise thesis, if you will. However, it is eluding … Continue reading Change is gradual
First grade
Last year, the first day of school felt heavy. Anxious. Joyous. It was a life shift for me and the tiny human. Though, said child handled it with grace and unflappable confidence. I cried in my car. Last year, watching my "baby" walk into school with his overly large bookbag felt like I was leaving … Continue reading First grade
Getting lost in the wrong moments
Anxiety is a thief. The source is irrelevant. Be it work, motherhood, dating- the effect is always the same. A racing mind. Lack of focus. Bouncing knee. Tears entombed in a tight chest. Heavy sighs collapsing before relief. Anxiety steals my ability to fill my lungs completely. When the disquiet seizes my breath, I diligently … Continue reading Getting lost in the wrong moments
Wading my way back in…
I haven't published anything in quite some time. Not for lack of trying, if you take a gander in my drafts folder. I would love to say that todays outbreak of words are due to a moment of brilliance. Disappointingly, They are not. These words are spurred by the notice of my renewal fee. A … Continue reading Wading my way back in…
A new milestone
In my last draft, safely tucked in the shadows, my brain was working overtime to connect events. That somehow the uncomfortable situations are necessary to enumerate in order to allow me the indulgence of sentimentality. It's bonkers. I'm not sure where the idea was planted that I must earn saccharine emotions about parenthood. So fuck … Continue reading A new milestone
A bi-weekly reunion
Transitions are hard. This is a statement I have made numerous times here. And in my head. It is a mantra I use to remind myself that it isn't personal to me. It is psychology. Transitions are hard. Tonight, Moose came home and immediately hugged me. I assumed this would be the kind of reunion … Continue reading A bi-weekly reunion
Thanksgiving 2021
I have endeavored to complete the continuation of the post "Unveiling the Elephant". I am getting there. Putting all of these experiences into words is an emotional undertaking. It is uncomfortable to be this transparent about the experience as a whole. To focus on documenting my experience without blocking portions that may be less flattering … Continue reading Thanksgiving 2021
Unveiling the elephant
It started when my ex and I began dating. An innate need to protect his reputation. To keep the unkind sentiments or harsh words housed in the shadows. To protect his image as much as possible. The self-imposed responsibility did not decrease with time. This made the separation tricky. When a marriage ends abruptly, there … Continue reading Unveiling the elephant
We have embarked on kindergarten
Change can be jarring for me. Even positive changes can feel destabilizing at times. I worried a bit that this was genetic. That I would pass this undesirable trait to my offspring. It seems the worry was all for naught. Which is pretty par for the course for me. Nearly three weeks ago the monster … Continue reading We have embarked on kindergarten
Mommyhood Mayhem and Me 