I am currently sitting in the dark, crying. That sounds a lot more dramatic than the reality- but it sure is a great hook. I am inhabiting the shadows, nestled in a rocking chair, watching my child drift off to sleep- my presence a comfort to his nervous system. An honor I take for granted … Continue reading Gratitude
Tag: growth
Here we go….
Yet again, my words have languished in a drafts file. It has become my routine- I am beginning to find comfort in it rather than irritation. My little breadcrumbs of predictability. The themes of these musings all seem to want to go to the same place- a destination I have been avoiding. Not due to … Continue reading Here we go….
A little bit o’ change
When I was a teenager my mother gifted me the book Who Moved My Cheese. She hoped the work would help me navigate my aversion to plan deviations. I don't like change. I never have. Even when said change is something I orchestrated- an alteration which I desire to occur. I struggle with the process … Continue reading A little bit o’ change
Finding my sea legs
I am coming to realize that adulthood is waiting for life- the next hectic interlude- to run it's course and allow breathing room, only to realize that the chaotic stretches occur concurrently and don't particularly conclude. Which is basically an eloquent and wordy way of saying, I keep waiting for things to calm down only … Continue reading Finding my sea legs
Coming out of hibernation
I continue to endeavor a narration of the past few months. They concurrently feel like several lifetimes lived and the comfort of consistency. The steady hand of contentment has been my ballast. The salve to the anxiety created by the unknown. I get a bit wrapped up in the delivery. Choosing the correct word. The … Continue reading Coming out of hibernation
A little glimpse into the past while
The last eight months have been hard and beautiful. Scary and enlightening. They have been a master class in sitting in discomfort, emotionally and physically. I have tried a few times to write, but I haven't been able to categorize the feelings, the experiences. I am now realizing, it is because they are too intertwined … Continue reading A little glimpse into the past while
Thanksgiving number five
Navigating co-parenting life does not necessarily get easier with the passage of time. But it gets...more formulaic, in a way. Most things are less of an emotional livewire, like in the early days. Every visitation, every holiday... hell every conversation left me feeling hurt, defeated. Empty. That isn't the case any longer. Most visitations trade-offs … Continue reading Thanksgiving number five
Change is gradual
I have a million thoughts swirling in this brain of mine. Like a word on the tip of your tongue, the thoughts all seem to be connected, but I cannot suss it out, just yet. I wanted a clear, captivating sentence to start it out. A precise thesis, if you will. However, it is eluding … Continue reading Change is gradual
Here I am again
I feel like I am starting over. Again. The past eighteen months have held so much change. Something I am not particularly adept at navigating. Some of the changes have been terrifying-because vulnerability-but absolutely worth it. And quite delightful once I pushed past the discomfort of leaving my shell. Other changes, such as the one … Continue reading Here I am again
Looking fear in the face
Fun fact: just like most things in life, getting started is the hardest part. I have been sitting here, staring at my keyboard with thoughts swirling for the last twenty minutes. I want to write- I actually have a vague idea of the point I wish to make. But I cannot get that first sentence … Continue reading Looking fear in the face
Mommyhood Mayhem and Me 