I started this post a couple of weeks ago, following a hysterical misstep from my boyfriend. I am revisiting (and completing it) mostly because we are void of the Moose this week. When he is gone, I think of him constantly. I miss his voice. His stories. I look through my phone daily, rewatching silly … Continue reading New Christmas memories
Tag: parenting
Thanksgiving number five
Navigating co-parenting life does not necessarily get easier with the passage of time. But it gets...more formulaic, in a way. Most things are less of an emotional livewire, like in the early days. Every visitation, every holiday... hell every conversation left me feeling hurt, defeated. Empty. That isn't the case any longer. Most visitations trade-offs … Continue reading Thanksgiving number five
Change is gradual
I have a million thoughts swirling in this brain of mine. Like a word on the tip of your tongue, the thoughts all seem to be connected, but I cannot suss it out, just yet. I wanted a clear, captivating sentence to start it out. A precise thesis, if you will. However, it is eluding … Continue reading Change is gradual
First grade
Last year, the first day of school felt heavy. Anxious. Joyous. It was a life shift for me and the tiny human. Though, said child handled it with grace and unflappable confidence. I cried in my car. Last year, watching my "baby" walk into school with his overly large bookbag felt like I was leaving … Continue reading First grade
Getting lost in the wrong moments
Anxiety is a thief. The source is irrelevant. Be it work, motherhood, dating- the effect is always the same. A racing mind. Lack of focus. Bouncing knee. Tears entombed in a tight chest. Heavy sighs collapsing before relief. Anxiety steals my ability to fill my lungs completely. When the disquiet seizes my breath, I diligently … Continue reading Getting lost in the wrong moments
A bi-weekly reunion
Transitions are hard. This is a statement I have made numerous times here. And in my head. It is a mantra I use to remind myself that it isn't personal to me. It is psychology. Transitions are hard. Tonight, Moose came home and immediately hugged me. I assumed this would be the kind of reunion … Continue reading A bi-weekly reunion
Thanksgiving 2021
I have endeavored to complete the continuation of the post "Unveiling the Elephant". I am getting there. Putting all of these experiences into words is an emotional undertaking. It is uncomfortable to be this transparent about the experience as a whole. To focus on documenting my experience without blocking portions that may be less flattering … Continue reading Thanksgiving 2021
Unveiling the elephant
It started when my ex and I began dating. An innate need to protect his reputation. To keep the unkind sentiments or harsh words housed in the shadows. To protect his image as much as possible. The self-imposed responsibility did not decrease with time. This made the separation tricky. When a marriage ends abruptly, there … Continue reading Unveiling the elephant
Take the damn photo
At the beginning of 2021 I finally took myself to see an ENT. My days of experiencing light headedness and nausea were alarmingly frequent. Migraines were increasing in intensity and regularity. Nearly the first day I had health insurance again, I had an appointment to see the doctor. I had my ears and hearing checked … Continue reading Take the damn photo
Here I am again
I feel like I am starting over. Again. The past eighteen months have held so much change. Something I am not particularly adept at navigating. Some of the changes have been terrifying-because vulnerability-but absolutely worth it. And quite delightful once I pushed past the discomfort of leaving my shell. Other changes, such as the one … Continue reading Here I am again
Mommyhood Mayhem and Me 