My baby turned three nearly two weeks ago. My baby is no longer a baby. Hell, my baby is no longer a toddler. When he snoozes on my shoulder in the early hours of the morning, his little body doesn't fit comfortably on my shoulder. Instead, his head nestles into the curve of my neck, … Continue reading Excitement as a parent is a new animal

How often do I start these things with some version of- I had something else planned entirely to post. Maybe you should all just be programmed to assume that upon most posts. This week is no different. I have three drafts I could post. Three completed drafts. Yet, my brain pulls me into a different … Continue reading Brave?

Perspective is fickle. Maybe that isn't entirely fair. Perhaps a more accurate description would be that perspective is fluid. It can morph and change quickly. Or never at all. Just now, the shift nearly gave me whiplash. This morning I was putting on the remainder of my makeup (a rarity these days) while Moose whined … Continue reading Shifting outlook

Motherhood has been an amazing shift within me. It’s really the most awesome- in the truest sense of the word- experience I have ever had. It has the ability to simultaneously tap into my deepest insecurities and give birth to my wildest spikes in confidence. I have days- even weeks- that I am consumed by … Continue reading Delight lives even in the hard stuff

Sleep with a child- regardless of age, it seems- is an elusive beast. I keep waiting. Waiting for it to level out. To find the magic combination of structure, security, or any other number of variables. To stop blaming myself for rough sleep nights. I have started a post about sleep before. So this is … Continue reading Sleep?

Catholic Mass is a little different than other church services. The structure of services I attended as a kid into my adulthood was the same wherever I went. We had 20 minutes of song- be it traditional hymns or updated songs that boarder on rock. Either way, it was the musical block and then an … Continue reading I forget that a little love goes a long way

I have been vacillating on what to write next. This is apparent by both my drafts folder-brimming with half hearted attempts at my next post- and my lack of publishing any of them. You see, I've been meandering through a labyrinth. Patches have been cloaked in darkness. Others have been slippery with self defeat. Areas … Continue reading North Star

Is this where I live now? This chaos in my brain? Yet again, I have started several posts and I have yet to finish one. I can't seem to untangle the threads in my mind to string together enough words to even form a cohesive thought. Maybe that's a goal I should abandon- cohesive thoughts. … Continue reading Healing is a winding road

I keep starting posts- and then stopping. Getting stuck in the chaos of my brain. The pressure to have some concise point. To be uplifting or introspective. When really, all I am is tired. And honestly, I think a little afraid of my own feelings. I began seeing my therapist about 16 months ago. And … Continue reading Reality Bites Sometimes

I recently used the really elegant and succinct sentence "vulnerability blows". I can't think of any truer words that have escaped my lips. Telling my son that I love him even when he's an asshole may be the closest second there is. I don't do vulnerability well. Actually, I think it has been a nearly … Continue reading Growth?