Writing this week has proven to be difficult. There is so much going on, and yet nothing. I feel like I'm ensnared on a treadmill. I am expending vast quantities of energy, but I am not getting anywhere. Circumstances are holding me in place. My endurance is being tested, but I don't have anything but … Continue reading Valentine’s Day

Some days I feel powerful and capable. And other days, like today, I feel like a child, cemented in sticky taffy,  my feet imprisoned while the world moves on around me. I lay in bed and stare at the walls. I lay in silence, resisting the urge to creep into my sons room, to curl … Continue reading Stranded in uncharted territory

So it seems I was nominated for The Mystery Blogger Award. I am beside myself with appreciation and disbelief. I started this project six months ago and I wasn't sure anyone would even read it, none the less like it! So here I am, on a list of nominees, wondering what it even means. I … Continue reading Nominated for an award, what??

Snow Day. An event of my childhood that didn't happen often, so it seemed to hold the power of magic. And in a way, it was magic. As snow would blanket a city that was in no way prepared for it, everything would soften. Life would slow. The world felt more quiet, peaceful. Also, no … Continue reading Snow Day

Last week I completed the whirlwind trip to Florida to say goodbye to one of my favorite people on the planet. Moose and I piled into the backseat of my father's car and began our epic journey. It was one of the most stressful and rewarding trips of my life. My trip engraved a fact … Continue reading Requiem

I see a man every day that drops my child off. He wears the mask of the man I loved for twelve years. I know what his hand feels like entwined with mine. I know what it feels like to get on my  toes to wrap my arms around his neck for a hug. But … Continue reading The Man I used to Know

I wrote most of this post Monday night. It was the night that I finally felt all of my grief. It finally made itself known and wouldn't recede back until I released it, whether I liked it or not... I loved Christmas. I loved making memories with my son. And I am heartbroken, too. ***** … Continue reading Saying goodbye amidst trees and lights

Moose and I just returned home from a pilgrimage to my home town. It was a trip I have been looking forward to for months. One that ended up being more heartbreaking than I could have imagined. I lost my aunt two days ago. One of my favorite people I have ever known. Someone who's … Continue reading Ghosts of Piedmont Past

I love Christmas. It is by far my favorite time of year. It has always been a time full of family, magic, and excitement. It is the time of year that I am a little less cynical. People are a little kinder. The harshness of day to day life is softened for a month. A … Continue reading It’s Christmas time!

Monday night I said goodbye to my dog. I catch myself waiting for him to appear- to see his tan coat contrasted against the red sofa as I turn the corner. To grab him when I go outside in the morning to start the car. Over the last 24 months, I have mourned five dogs. My … Continue reading Grief